This past month has been a pretty significant transition period for me. I left the corporate world entirely, I had been at my most recent job for just about 5 years, and took the leap into starting my own biz.
I have to be honest, I’m so grateful for everything I’ve learned during my corporate career – but I couldn’t wait another second to get out of there. I was absolutely bursting at the seams, and even just walking in the front door of my office felt (as Martha Beck would say) “shackles on”.
Not to be completely dramatic, but it almost started to feel like a form of imprisonment to me.
I was essentially going somewhere everyday just to collect a paycheck. I knew the work I was doing wasn’t making a difference in the world (at least from my perspective), or being of service to people, and I started wondering, what’s the point?
Having someone else tell me which hours I needed to physically be in the office, what exactly I needed to work on, and how I needed to do things 5 days a week just wasn’t compatible with my world view anymore – and I needed out.
Not to mention there was a high level of negativity in the office, which was contagious and toxic. Yuck.
I felt like I was running in a race that I didn’t care about winning anymore. And I’m actually not a huge fan of running, or races – so this was a lose/lose situation for me!
After my last day at work I walked out of the office, felt the sun on my face and thought, FREEDOM! I couldn’t effing wait to start living life on my own terms, on my own schedule, fully focusing on work that would make a positive impact on people around me.
What will I do tomorrow? I thought. Oh, I don’t know, ANYTHING I WANT! AHAHAHAA!
Well, that delirious excitement lasted a good few days, until I was able to wrangle myself back to reality and temper it juuust a bit.
I had taken the leap, done exactly what I had been wanting to do for so long, and now it was time to make those big dreams of mine happen.
On my own.
As an extroverted introvert (is that a thing? I think so.) and an only child, working solo sounded like my ideal situation. The only catch was I had so many things on my to do list that I suddenly felt paralyzed. I didn’t know which was most important in terms of serving my (small, but amazing) tribe and growing my business, and I had no idea where to start, and no one to bounce my ideas off of.
I would simultaneously start 5 different projects and jump back and forth between them instead of giving each the undivided attention they deserved. Then I’d begin writing a blog post and decide that there were more important things to write about (as if I’m allotted a specific number of posts for the rest of my life), and leave it unfinished.
What the heck was going on? I was making my own hours, goals, and rules and I didn’t know what to do?! Holy unexpected learning curve.
It’s like I finally had the opportunity to do work that I’m incredibly passionate about and I was so scared about messing it up, or creating something that’s not perfect, or being judged, that I could barely finish anything.
Get your shit together, Casey!
If a client came to me with this problem we’d work together on peeling back the layers on their limiting beliefs, and talk about finding ways to push through resistance and eliminate self-sabotaging behaviors.
Looks like the coach needs a dose of her own medicine. A little tough self-love, perhaps?
I’ve grown so accustomed to having my work judged by my “superiors” in the corporate world that I’m now projecting that feeling of having to live up to someone else’s expectations onto myself.
Have you ever taken the Gallup Strengths Finder assessment? I did in my last job and guess what my #1 strength was?
It said this particular strength is best for someone who is working in a constantly-changing environment, like an ER, or live TV production (my college major – did I miss my calling? Ha!).
Adaptability was an important strength to have in my last job as priorities were constantly shifting and things moved at an extremely fast pace. I assumed it would also be important in the entrepreneurial world, but as they say, sometimes your greatest strength can be your greatest weakness – and I’ve been learning that the hard way.
I’m so freakin’ adaptable that I’ve been shifting priorities based on some crazed, overwhelmed voice in my head instead of stepping back and asking myself, What’s true for me right now? What’s most important for me to complete today?
I’ve been stepping out of my truth and into overwhelm and self judgment.
Well, with you as my accountability partner (we all need one), that stops today. I’m back on the self-love, follow-through, passion-fueled train.
And I’m not going to be hard on myself for stumbling a bit and getting a little lost during this scary but amazing transition either. Just super psyched for the opportunity to start again, from a fresh, shiny new slate right now. I hope you’ll do that for yourself, too – if you ever find yourself straying a bit from your truth – just push the reset button with no regrets.
Just remember, nothing happens to you, it happens for you.
All you can do is scoop up the wisdom that each experience leaves behind and use it to make better decisions next time.
Is there anything you’d like to throw out into the universe that you’d like a little accountability on? Pop it into the comments below – putting the intention out there is the first step in making it real, kittens!